


Black&Blue Love

by Sailing_ShipWreck



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Blood, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, Homophobic Language, Hurt Richie Tozier, M/M, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, POV Richie Tozier, Richie Angst, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Needs a Hug, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Violence, Why do I enjoy making Richie suffer so much, but this sloppy bitch ass clown is mentioned, richie deserves all the love in the world, richie is the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 04:45:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20924387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailing_ShipWreck/pseuds/Sailing_ShipWreck
Summary: Pennywise happened 2-3 years ago. The Losers are starting to forget, but there are still some memories that reappear. Richie and Eddie are going on their first date, and it's supposed to be perfect.Except that Henry Bowers and his goons don't plan to keep it that way.





	Black&Blue Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here's a Reddie fanfic for you. I worked on that a lot and I really hope you'll like it. Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language. Like I said in the summary, this happens 2-3 years after Pennywise, meaning that Richie and Eddie are 15-16 years old. And yeah, Henry Bowers, Victor Criss and Belch Huggins are still there. 
> 
> TW: Violence and homophobic slurs. Do not read if you don't feel comfortable with that.

Eddie Kaspbrak was going on a date with Richie Tozier. At least, that’s what it was for the pair. They were going to the cinema, nothing unusual. Except maybe this time, if they managed to get a place at the very last row of seats of the room and there weren’t too many people and it was really dark, then they would maybe be able to hold hands. And if they got extra lucky, maybe they would even steal a kiss here and there. However, for the rest of the world, including the rest of the Losers, it was only two best friends going to the movie theater to enjoy a film.

They told nobody. It wasn’t a good idea to expose themselves to a city like Derry. Even to the Losers. Richie agreed with him that it was better for them to shut up about their relationship. Anyway, the fewer people knew, the better. It eliminated the possibility of someone telling it by accident.

Eddie was fumbling in his closet, looking for something to wear. He discarded item after item, throwing shirts, pants, and jackets around his usually clean and organized room. He really felt like an idiot; to pass this much time searching for clothes to wear on a date, like some teenage girl, was ridiculous. He finally selected a pair of classic jeans and a pale yellow T-shirt, opting for something casual and simple. He got away quickly from the closet because he knew that if he didn’t, he would change his mind again.

He shouldn’t have been this nervous, because Richie and he had already gone to the cinema thousands of times before, accompanied by the Losers or not, but he couldn’t help it. It felt the same, but so much different, so much more official and serious than every other time. What if something bad happened? What if he messed up something? What if it was awkward, none of them knowing what to say? Then, feeling even more stupid than before, Eddie reassured himself by remembering that he was talking about_ Richie._ Of course, they would not _not know what to say._ Richie was always chattering endlessly, saying every single thing that passed through his mind. He would speak enough for both of them, that’s for sure. No worries there.

Eddie stared at himself in the mirror, hesitation painted on his face, his wide eyes looking back at him, both apprehensive and excited. He felt as if he was a big ball of stress, his stomach knotted with anxiety, but his heart also fluttering of trepidation and his whole body jumpy as eagerness and impatience flooded through him.

He suddenly blinked, breaking off his glaring match with his opposite self in the mirror, and he was ready to go, but doubt made him pause. He let out an exasperated sigh before turning around and going back to his outfit research. He quickly pulled his previous clothes off and fished out little red shorts and a dark blue T-shirt this time. He put them on, gave a last glance at himself in the mirror, and passed through his bedroom’s door.

He hastily walked down the hallway, almost running, and went down the stairs even faster, skipping the last step and jumping instead. He landed perfectly, and slowed his pace from there, moving the most silently he could. He walked on tip-toes, quiet as ever, the last couple of meters that separated him from being outside, his heart thumping wildly. He stretched his arm, reaching for the doorknob, and his fingers made contact, even turned it, but a shrill voice made him stop dead in his movement.

“Eddie?” His mom called from the living room. Eddie stiffened, his whole body as tense as a bowstring. He clenched his jaw and turned around slowly. “Yes, Ma?” He answered, hoping his apprehension didn’t leak in his tone.

“Eddie-bear, where are you going? Come here,” Sonia Kaspbrak ordered. Resigned, Eddie backtracked until he was standing in the living room, beside the chair his mom was slumped in. He waited patiently for her to speak again.

“Where are you going, Eddie?” Her voice was softer now, but there was a sharp edge in her gaze, making her eyes hard.

“I, huh, I’m going to the cinema with my friends, Ma,” He didn’t precise which ones because if Sonia disliked the Losers, she hated Richie even more. If on top of that it came to her ears that Richie and he were going on a date… Eddie would probably never see the light of the day again.

“Didn’t you go already last week?” She asked, suspicious.

“Y-yeah, but all the gang’s gonna be there tonight so…” He trailed off, feeling guilt wash over him by waves, his face burning with shame. He hated lying to his mother. It made him feel like he was the worst son Earth had ever carried.

“I see…” Sonia acknowledged, looking lost deep in thoughts. For a moment, Eddie was sure that she would forbid him to go, and he instantly filled with dread. She would see right through him, and she would discover all of his lies. He turned his head, one hundred percent sure that if he looked in her eyes a second more, her gaze would burn him alive for being such a dishonest kid.

“Well then what are you waiting to kiss me goodbye?” She said finally, after a minute or so, and Eddie struggled to hide the relief that flowed through him upon hearing that. He leaned forward, kissed her on her pasty cheek and got away quickly, not looking behind.

“Love you, Mommy!” He exclaimed, exiting the house at the same moment. He closed the door behind him and let out a shaky breath. He was finally free. The last bits of culpability poured out of him in a steady stream, and he went down the street, with a new feeling of bravery threading itself in him.

🎈🎈🎈

Richie walked carefreely in direction of the movie theater for his date with Eddie. His walkman was firmly placed on his head, and he hummed quietly along with the melody. The only sign that could give away his nervousness was his fingers fiddling with the walkman’s cable. The wire was tangled and knotted from Richie’s skittish touch, and he would probably have a hard time to set it back to normal. Apart from this little detail, Richie seemed peaceful and relaxed. But it was all about facade; anybody that could possibly cross his path wouldn’t be able to tell that Richie was anything except the perfect example of the nonchalant guy. However, underneath all of this casualness, he was a buzzing ball of energy and mixed emotions. He was really close to just jump all the way down to the cinema out of pure stress. But it was good stress, the one that made you shake with excitement and made your heart beat twice as fast of impatience.

Richie turned left, taking a shortcut by the quarry. He wanted to arrive at the movie theater in advance, so he would have the time to buy popcorn for Eddie. Richie hadn’t gone to the arcade this week especially for this, saving money for his date instead of spending it on _Street Fighter_. Maybe it was stupid, but he wanted to make Eddie smile.

Instinctively, he reached in his pocket to make sure that the ten-dollar bill was still there. His long fingers clenched it firmly, creasing it, but he didn’t care as long as it was still there, in security. It wasn’t even that important, because Eddie probably wouldn’t give a fuck about Richie buying him popcorn, but Richie felt as if it would be the end of the world if he lost that money. He was not able to voice it, not without making a joke, but he thought that maybe this gesture would show Eddie that he cared about him, like seriously. It was the only way he imagined that wouldn’t finish by him ruining everything and by Eddie running away as fast as he could.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed Richie’s shirt collar and yanked him back violently, making him fall on his back. His breath was knocked out of him as the force of the impact traveled in his body. Henry Bowers’ face appeared above him, looking rageful as always.

“What the fuck, asshole?” Richie said without thinking, as he tried to get to his feet. He stood there stubbornly, taking in the scene. Victor Criss and Belch Huggins were standing behind Henry, their mouth contorted into wicked smiles. The three boys took a threatening step forward, as if they all shared the same brain cell(_which was probably true,_ Richie thought, _and Henry is the one that has it most of the time)._ In spite of his willpower, Richie flinched away a little.

“Watch what you’re saying, Trashmouth. I may not be in a good mood today,” Henry continued to approach, and Richie tried to look unworried, but still backed away as Henry got closer and closer.

“When are you in a good mood anyway? Maybe when you’re blowing your dad,” Richie knew he shouldn’t provoke him, but he couldn’t help it. Words passed his lips without him even registering what he was going to say. He was surprised at the same time as the one that they were destined to. After all, maybe people were right to say his mouth was a curse, only useful to attract problems.

“You’re going to fucking regret this, motherfucker!” Henry yelled, overcoming the last feet between him and Richie and grabbing him by the neck. He squeezed until Richie was wheezing awkwardly.

“Still want to talk, sissy?” Henry taunted, and Richie brought his right hand up, pulling against Henry’s fingers on his throat. Richie saw an air of dawning realization quickly followed by twisted pleasure on Henry’s features and, surprisingly, the bully’s hand released his neck. Unfortunately, Richie didn’t even have the time to take a proper breath that he was being pressed against a hard chest, an arm wrapped around his abdomen and another crushing his still sensible throat. Victor had trapped him from behind, but at least the pressure on his neck was less important than when it had been Henry, so he could breathe a little more easily.

“Why would you only use one arm to free yourself? Either you’re just really dumb or you’re hiding something,” Henry thought out loud, not really addressing Richie but more himself. Huggins took the opportunity to let out a huge belch in Richie’s face, who flinched with disgust. Belch and Victor laughed spitefully.

Henry advanced and harshly gripped Richie’s face with one hand, his fingers compressing his jaw. His other hand closed on Richie’s left arm and jerked it out of his pocket. The bully forcefully opened Richie’s hand, snatching out the crumpled ten-dollar bill.

“No! Give it back!” Richie exclaimed, despite his instinct to just let it go and act like he didn’t care.

“Oooh, is it important? Is it your money to get your dick sucked by the little whore you’re always with? Or is it the contrary? Is it you that is a fucking slut that just blew another fairy for cash?” Henry asked. As soon as Richie understood that Henry was talking about Eddie when he said _‘the little whore you’re always with’_, he saw red. Nobody would insult his friends without paying the price.

His blood boiling from anger, he dug his teeth in Victor’s arm and bit the best he could manage into his skin, leaving a mark. Victor yelped in surprise, and Richie took advantage of his shock and his weakening hold to kick Henry in the balls the harder he could. The mullet-wearing boy immediately folded in two and slid down to the ground with a strangled whimper. Richie pushed Victor aside before he could recover too much and shoved past Belch. He started running, refusing to look behind.

He regretted it when someone caught both of his feet and made him trip. He didn’t have the time to cushion his fall with his hands, so his chin brutally hit the ground. Belch had followed him and was now carelessly wrenching him upright. The two others were still recuperating, but they were already getting up, Henry’s hand clutched protectively between his legs.

Richie elbowed Belch in the nose to free himself and felt a twinge of pride when he saw that the other teen was bleeding profusely. He began to run away, but he got held back at the last second. Belch had one hand under his nose, trying to control the bleeding, but the other was clenched around Richie’s wrist in an iron grip.

“YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE FOR THAT, FAGGOT!!” Henry screamed furiously, running toward Richie and Belch, his face illuminated by a maniacal expression and his eyes wild, shining from anger and madness. Victor followed him close, fury written over his traits.

Belch stepped aside when they arrived at their height, and Henry threw his fist fiercely into Richie’s face, hitting him with a horrifying sound. Richie’s walkman flew off his head and landed a few meters away from him. The world spun around and Richie’s vision darkened as he collapsed on the ground, pain exploding in his skull. He felt the characteristic hotness and thickness of blood running down the lower half of his face, dripping from his probably broken nose.

Henry jumped on top of him, pinning him down. Richie was laying on his back and Henry was on all fours above him, his two hands fixed on Richie’s, making him unable to move his arms.

“GET OFF OF ME!!” Richie yelled, feeling fear seep in his brain, muddling his panic-stricken thoughts. He was in the worst posture ever, all of his body exposed, with Henry on a higher power position than him, and Richie was unable to defend himself or even to just protect himself. He was about to be demolished, he knew it. His heart was beating wildly in his chest and he couldn’t remember ever being this scared… except…

_One time, when he was in the house on Neibolt Street, something about him on a missing poster, and there were clowns and a coffin with an imitation of him in it. Eddie had been separated from him, Bill too, and he had been so alone, so afraid. And then he had finally freed himself from this hell room, but there was Eddie’s head and he looked like a zombie, all decomposed and everything, and he was throwing up black puke. Later, the real Eddie was there, with a broken arm and that fucking clown was about to catch them with his horrible clawed hands._

The thought(or the memory?)was pushed away when Richie felt another punch land on his face from Henry, breaking his glasses, followed by a kick in his stomach from Victor and another in his ribs from Belch. His breath hitched and he curled on himself as much as Henry’s hold on him allowed, in a desperate effort to attenuate the hurt. Blood was pouring everywhere, flowing in his eyes, blinding him, and in his mouth, making him gag and choke from the vile taste.

Horrified, Richie realized he was crying, and the tears cleared his vision from the red liquid enough for him the see the bullies’ blurry figures yell at him, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying over the ringing in his ears. The high-pitched noise drowned every other sound as if he was underwater.

Every punch in his face sent his head backwards to collide with the hard ground, his skull smashing so hard that it bounced back up enough for one of the three bullies to knock it even harder. Every kick on his body was sending a bolt of lightning in his frame, making his senses go haywire from the pain. His inability to curl on himself made his body spasm and convulse from the fierce violence. They punched him again and again and again.

His brain was filled with incomprehensible thoughts, that swirled around and made him dizzy, but there was only one that he could make out of the lot. The only thing that made sense was the red alarm inside of him that was blaring _DANGER, DANGER!_

As the beat up continued, he went to a point where he didn’t feel anything else than pure agony. He couldn’t feel the ground underneath him anymore, nor the punches or the blood oozing out of his wounds. He just felt hurt, _so much hurt_, as if the only thing that still existed in his world was pain.

His overwhelming misery stopped for a moment and he was sure that he just had passed out but a boot landed on his chest forcefully, making the pain spike sharply and cutting his already almost impossible breathing. He didn’t even fight back, too exhausted, too wounded, to do something as simple as trying to breathe. Then, the heavy weight that kept him from getting air disappeared, and his brain instinctively made him gasp, even if it provoked a new wave of torment.

He got the vague impression of being lifted off the ground, of being carried around and of someone calling his name. His vision tunneled and faded around the edges. His head bounced uselessly with every step the person was taking, making Richie fall in and out of consciousness, one second the sweet nothing of the painless darkness vacuuming his scattered thoughts into the void of oblivion, and the next an abrupt comeback into the real world, filling him with distress.

The sensation of falling into emptiness engulfed him, like he was in some kind of dream, with the air whistling and whipping him, until he felt his body strike water strongly. His limbs were too heavy to move and it just hurt so much that he did nothing against the powerful pull of the water current. He sank slowly, water entering his nose and mouth, filling his lungs. He drifted out, and let the obscurity swallow him whole.

🎈🎈🎈

Eddie arrived at the cinema two minutes early. He and Richie were supposed to wait for each other outside. He stood near the door, looking at his watch every thirty seconds. His leg was hopping really fast out of nervousness. Probably the waiting was the worst part. Once Richie would arrive, everything would go just fine. Right? He would see Richie walk up to him, so tall and slim with his long legs. He would see his warm, magnified eyes behind his glasses, his high cheekbones, his freckled nose, his sharp jaw, his pale skin, and his sweet lips. He would see his wild black curls bounce around his face, and he would probably wear one of his colorful, patterned jackets, with a plain T-shirt and some ripped jeans.

Eddie felt his lips curl into a soft smile as he thought about how handsome Richie was. Cheeks flushed and hot, he poked his head out to see the street, and he searched for Richie’s wide beam, but identified Greta Keene’s scornful smirk instead, along with her stupid giggling friends.

Not wanting to be discovered by Greta, he dipped behind a tall stranger and that earned him a weird look, but he just continued his way in the opposite direction. He turned around the movie theater until he was behind the building. He peered from the wall’s corner, watching for her and her gang. He waited a couple of moments after he heard the last piercing howl of laughter and finally got out of his hiding place.

He came back to his previous spot by the door and glanced for the millionth time at his watch. It was 19:08, so eight minutes past their meeting hour. Eddie waited another minute and then stepped inside the cinema, considering the fact that maybe Richie got tired of waiting and went inside. After all, Richie wasn’t so patient.

The small teen examined the place, scanning for Richie’s familiar face. His eyes scrutinized the line of people waiting to buy tickets, then the people scattered around the snack stand, and he even went to check in the bathroom. No sign of Richie.

Eddie went in the line for the snack stand, to pass time, and he reasoned that he would remark if Richie showed up, since the other teen was way taller than an average person.

“Hello, what can I do for you?” The man working at the stand asked politely, and Eddie suddenly snapped out of his thoughts, only to realize that it was his turn to command.

“Sorry, I’m gonna take a medium popcorn bag please,” He said, thinking that Richie would like to eat something during the movie. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and paid, and then he went back outside, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He peeked at his watch again. 19:14.

Eddie started to feel worried. Richie was late to school at least once a week, but, surprisingly, he was never, never late to a meeting with the Losers. Eddie couldn’t remember a time where Richie didn’t arrive at the good hour when he was supposed to join him. What if Richie didn’t show up at all? A bad feeling twisted his stomach. Maybe Richie realized he wasn’t worth it, or that he made an error by accepting to go on a date with Eddie.

He checked again. 19:20. This time, the worry was replaced by anger. Who does Richie think he is to make him wait like this, to make him stand like an idiot by the door? Eddie felt so damn dumb, for believing that Richie could possibly love him more than like a friend, enough to invite him on a date. It was probably just an awful joke, and he presumed Richie was home, laughing his ass off.

He knew he could have waited more, but it was so unlike Richie to be twenty minutes late that he walked away from the cinema, leaving the popcorn behind in a trash can. The uneasiness in his heart had grown so big that he just assumed Richie was making fun of him. His thoughts were irrational, and he knew it, but he couldn’t erase the bad feeling that was creeping up on him. He hated himself when he realized he was crying. He hated himself for believing that it had really been possible between Richie and him. But more than anything, he hated himself for letting this affect him so much.

He wiped his tears furiously with the back of his hand and decided to walk by the quarry to calm himself. It wasn’t so far and maybe it would help him for real. Eddie couldn’t really explain, but being at the quarry always filled him with a strange sensation of peace. Maybe it was the feeling of being so close to the edge, but to be in total control to whether or not he wanted to jump in the water that made him so serene. Or, precisely, maybe it was jumping from the cliff that was so amazing; the feeling of flying for a split-second, and then falling for a moment longer, the air sliding over him, having the impression of being completely free, far away from his house and even farther away from any restraint. There was also the way confidence and boldness invaded him before his body hit to water, and then it was like coming back to life, like his soul stopped its ascension towards the sky to come back to him before he sank down to the bottom and never got up again. Being submerged by the cold water was like being wiped off of his problems and impurities, clear of his mother’s influence and of his feeling of playing a role, of being someone else. After, his head would peek out of the water and the first breath would be incredible, almost magic, as if instead of breathing air he was breathing euphoria and pure happiness, with adrenaline coursing through his veins.

Eddie snapped back to reality when he heard footsteps approaching in front of him. Victor Criss and Belch Huggins were coming his way. He warily deviated from their path but they didn’t seem to pay him attention. There wasn’t a lot of light, only the dim glow of the moon and the stars, so Eddie couldn’t really see them clearly. But, once the two bullies brushed past him, he couldn’t miss the dark stains on their clothes. Horrified, he realized it was blood. _Their shirt are soaked in someone’s blood,_ and the disturbing thought implanted itself in Eddie’s brain.

Victor and Belch continued their way without doing him anything. Even though his senses were screaming at him to just go home and hide, he decided to continue in the same direction. His whole being itched intensely for him to just go away, and to avoid ending like whoever just encountered the bullies, but he also felt the need to do something. Maybe it was because he would possibly be able to help whoever got attacked. Or maybe it was because he really didn’t want to come back home. Somewhere deep inside him, in a very dark place of his heart, he yearned for danger. Everybody always saw him as the delicate and fragile mama boy and he thought that maybe the reason he wanted so badly to get in trouble was to prove them wrong. He wanted to be brave, and to just feel something powerful, to sense the adrenaline flowing through him, even if that meant it needed to be caused by something bad.

Eddie approached more and more of the quarry, and then the silence was broken by an aggressive scream full of hatred.

“DIE! JUST FUCKING DIE, FAGGOT!” The voice was repeating these words in a loop, only getting louder and crueler. His hands clenching and unclenching nervously, and his heartbeat resonating in his ears, Eddie advanced in the darkness enough to see the scene unfurling in front of him. Henry Bowers was on top of someone(a boy, Eddie figured out) and he was beating the person so savagely that the boy’s body was convulsing from the force. Eddie felt sick just by watching it. The sounds of fists hitting skin and bones were awful, and the teen was shocked by the sheer brutality of the assault.

Eddie let out a yelp of surprise when someone wrapped their arms around his midsection, harshly. The noise distracted Henry from the person he was beating up, and he whipped his head up to stare at Eddie. When the person behind Eddie burped loudly in his ear, he understood that Belch and Victor had come back for him. Eddie immediately gagged, repulsed, and then his instincts took over, and he trashed wildly against Belch’s hold. The bully was completely unaffected, his grip only tightening, and then he just lifted the small teen off of the ground easily. Eddie cursed his height.

He threw his arms and legs around, hoping to knock Belch. Dread made his stomach squeeze uncomfortably and he felt his throat constrict into a pinhole. He doubled his efforts to get free, fueled by fear.

“LET ME GO!!” He shrieked, hysterically gesticulating.

“If you don’t stop moving right now, I’m gonna slice your fucking throat, understood, little prick?” Victor said as he approached Eddie with a pocket knife in his hand. Even though Eddie burned with the desire to escape, he listened to his will to live and stiffened, eyeing cautiously the weapon.

Belch carried him to Henry’s spot and dropped him negligently on the ground. Eddie collided with the hard ground and grunted as pain shot through his side. He was grabbed again, by Victor this time, and the boy in question forced him to stand up. Henry got up as well, and Eddie saw who was the bullies’ victim.

Eddie stared in shock for a couple of seconds, color draining from his face. Then, as the dawning realization sunk in his brain, he felt himself go cold, his blood turning to ice in his veins, and then go hot, his skin burning from blazing heat. His muscles tensed, and he stood there, as stiff and as motionless as a statue as the scene printed itself in his mind, the pure horror of it deleting all of his thoughts, movements or reactions. Fear immobilized him, held him captive. His chest compressed as if someone was sitting on him, and his throat closed completely. It took him another moment to proceed the identity of the person laying there beside him. Then, for the first time in months, the sudden urge to reach for his inhaler submerged him, and he snapped out of his trance to search for it in his pocket. He was so aghast that the inhaler just kept sliding out of his sweaty hands, his fingers shaking too hard to grip it tightly. He wheezed, and even though he knew he didn’t really have asthma, he couldn’t breathe and he was certain he was about to die. When he finally succeeded to catch his inhaler, he brought it to his mouth and breathed in deeply. When the rattling in his chest and the raspy panting subsided, he looked again.

It was Richie, but he was almost unrecognizable. His face was a mess, blue and black and red, covered in bruises and with so much blood that Eddie couldn’t even tell from where it was coming from. His sweaty hair was glued to his forehead, sticky from the dark liquid. His eyes were half-lidded and glassy. A puddle of blood was forming underneath his head. His limbs were all slack and immobile, sprawled in strange positions. There was a hand-shaped dark blue bruise around his neck, and Eddie could hear his laborious, shallow breathing, and see his chest heaving rapidly but weakly. His clothes were wrecked, ripped and soaked with blood. He looked like a train had rolled over him.

The atrocity of the situation struck Eddie again like lightning strike a tree in a bad storm. Panic overflowed him, mixing everything in his head, making him want to scream and cry at the same time. His knees buckled and he would have dropped if it wasn’t for Victor still holding him.

“Richie,” Eddie murmured, completely desperate. “Richie, RICHIE!!” He yelled frantically when Richie stayed unresponsive. Henry chose this moment to interrupt, getting Eddie out of his terror-filled stupor.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t hit his dick too hard. You’ll still be able to blow him.”

“Fuck you!! FUCK YOU!” Eddie’s voice cracked and he broke down, his body shaking with the force of his sobs. “Richie!” He wailed, wishing to hear the taller teen’s voice tell him that he was fine, that it was not real and that they could go home together. Even though he knew it was hopeless, he clung into the microscopic chance that Richie would answer.

“Oh, stop pretending you care about him. Nobody does. Just so you know, we don’t even hate him, we just don’t give a fuck. Anyway, who would care about such a trashmouth and a sissy?” Henry asked. This hurt Eddie way more than anything else Henry could have said. He did care about Richie, so damn much that it was ridiculous, and hell, he even fell in love with him despite his stupid jokes about his mom and his constant teasing. But he knew that Richie’s parents were negligent, so much that they really looked like they didn’t give a fuck about their son. Richie was amazing, but Maggie and Wentworth Tozier didn’t pay enough attention to realize it. Richie was trying everything he could to get their attention, but they just didn’t care and didn’t even try to hide it. Eddie also knew that Richie was dying over it when he thought nobody was looking, a wan smile appearing on his face to try to cover his sadness when he felt a gaze on him. For a second, Eddie was glad that Richie was too knocked out to understand what was being said.

“Me. I care,” Eddie said firmly, even though he knew it would change absolutely nothing for Henry. The bully slammed his boot on Richie’s chest in acknowledgment.

“I see. You’re a faggot as much as he is. So sad I damaged your fucking cocksucker. So, will you care if I hit that bastard another time?” Henry questioned, and didn’t wait for Eddie’s answer to throw his fist against Richie’s face again, causing blood to splash everywhere. Richie didn’t even react except for a weak flutter of his eyes.

“STOP!! Stop it!” Eddie exclaimed. Henry only laughed and kicked Richie twice, once on the head and once in the ribs, and then he glared hard at Eddie for a moment. He looked thoughtful, as if he was taking a decision. He pulled out his knife, and Eddie felt his gut sink down to his feet.

“Henry don’t do this, please! Please!” Eddie begged but Henry ignored him. The bully leaned in over Richie and his knife hovered above the other’s chest. The weapon danced threateningly over Richie’s body, following the bones and the muscles but without cutting anything. Then, the blade dipped in, deep, ripping the skin in a long gash along his collarbone. The blade of Henry’s knife was now stained in blood. Eddie felt the cold grip of fear curl around his spine like a vicious snake.

Suddenly, Henry leaned in and lifted Richie with difficulty, since it was like hoisting a six feet ragdoll. The older boy began carrying Richie toward the edge of the cliff, and Eddie’s heart skipped a beat and then he could hear nothing else than his own pulse beating in his ears. He felt icy again. He was struggling again, more desperately than before, because he needed to stop Henry. But when he felt the metallic blade of Victor’s knife against his Adam's apple, he stopped moving and he despised himself so hard for it that he felt ill.

Eddie watched helplessly, frozen with terror, as Henry threw Richie over the edge of the quarry.

“RICHIIIE!!!” He screamed so loudly that his throat hurt. The air was filled with heavy, shocked silence for a long minute. Then, everything after rolled out in less than a second. Powered by despair, he succeeded to free himself from Victor, who was too stunned to hold him back, and he ran in direction of the cliff like he had the devil on his heels and dived in without even taking the time to hesitate.

His body collided with the water, and he searched frantically with his hands for Richie. The dirty water burned his retinas, but he forced his eyes to stay open. Still underwater, Eddie finally found Richie and he hauled him up to the surface. He swam, pulling Richie with him the best he could, and he never gave up, even when his limbs grew heavy from exhaustion.

He finally reached the shore, tired to the bone, but too concentrated on the other teen to even remark it. He dragged Richie onto the embankment and held to him like a lifeline. Richie’s face had been cleaned from the blood, so Eddie could properly see the extent of his injuries, but the dark liquid was already beginning to ooze out of the wounds again. Except for the areas covered in bruises, Richie was ghostly pale, contrasting with the dark blue smudges spread across his face. His nose was definitely broken, and his lips and both of his eyebrow arches were sliced. Eddie didn’t even want to imagine how the rest of Richie’s body looked like.

He rested his head on Richie’s chest, relieved, but then the feeling was drained from him as fast as water is drained from a freshly unblocked sink. Completely distraught, he pulled away as if he’d been burned, and glued his ear back as quickly. No sound. No pulse. Richie’s heart wasn’t beating anymore. He knew he needed to perform CPR now, or else…Eddie tried hard to push the panic away to reminisce the technique he had learned when he was 12. He began.

He wasn’t even thinking properly. There was only one thought that kept swirling in his mind, two words that changed everything, that made the very foundations of his life crumble as if they were made of dry sand. _No pulse_.

With each push Eddie executed, he felt his own heart break a little more. When he felt the first rib crack under his desperate force, his whole being imploded, everything inside and out of him destroyed, leaving a complete wreck behind, because of the sweltering guilt that trapped him in a tightening noose. His vision blurred with tears, desperation strangling him, preventing him to draw in a real breath. It only motivated him more, and he doubled his efforts.

On the ninth compression, he heard a heartbeat. One more push, one more heartbeat. One more. A second rib snapped under his hands, and he lurched back, choking slightly. He resumed straight away, keeping Richie alive with each downward thrusts.

“Please, please, please, please, please,” He repeated endlessly, praying whoever was listening to make Richie survive.

As if his wish was granted, Richie’s body jerked up, and a loud gasp was heard. Richie violently sat up, folded in two, and threw up water while coughing his lungs out. The sound was horrible, wet and deep. Eddie pushed his disgust of vomit and blood away and immediately glued himself to the taller boy. Unsurprisingly, Richie leaned against him, completely worn down.

“Hey,” Richie croaked weakly, his voice a broken and hoarse whisper.

“Shhh, don’t talk. I’m here,” Eddie said, feeling like he could never thank God or whoever else enough. He felt heavy, heavy with the enormous weight of his relief. Richie was there, he was breathing, and his heart was beating, and that was the only thing that mattered. Eddie clang to the other teen like nothing else existed in the world, and that was probably the case anyway. He held to Richie like that was the only thing that kept him from being gone, he held him like he was the most precious and valuable thing in the world. At that moment, Eddie swore he would never let something like that happen again. He couldn’t lose Richie. That’s it.

He hadn’t realized how hard he was squeezing Richie until the other let out a groan of pain. Horrified, Eddie pulled away so fast that he almost fell backward.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I forgot… Are you okay? Stupid, of course, you’re not! I’m sorry! Maybe you need space? Yeah, yeah, okay, I’ll back away. Jesus! How could I forget that? That hurts like hell for sure. I just didn’t think… I was so scared, I thought you were dead!” He rambled as the stress swirled in his chest like a fucking hurricane and as he backtracked a couple of feet.

Richie stared at him, looking lost, and his face held all of the pain in the world, not because of his injuries, but because of his absolutely wounded expression. There was something in his eyes, something that indicated that he was still fighting, struggling against an unknown force. He opened his mouth, looking ready to say something, but he turned away at the last second, heaving, and then he threw up again. Eddie turned his gaze but didn’t back off any more than he did already.

“I’m sorry I missed our date,” Richie murmured. It sent him into another deep coughing fit and Eddie winced in worry.

“Shut up. For once in your life, stop talking,” Eddie said, not because he was annoyed but because he didn’t want to worsen Richie’s state, that was already awful. Of course, he didn’t mention that part. The other boy seemed to consider something, and then outstretched his arm in his direction.

“No. No way. I’m going to hurt you,” The smaller teen refused immediately, even though he wanted more than everything to hold Richie and never let go, but his reluctance was bigger because he seriously didn’t want to injure him more.

“You could never,” Richie affirmed, trying to sit up straighter and to get to his feet to join him. It was written all over his traits that he was already suffering, and trying to get up certainly wouldn’t help. But Richie was stubborn, and he wanted to hug Eddie, so he was going to walk to him if that’s what it took. He swallowed back any hints, any sounds, that could worry Eddie and he continued his work.

“No. No, don’t you dare fucking move dipshit! You almost died! Do you even realize it? You’re going to get back on your ass right now!” Eddie said, fighting against a new wave of fear. He nonetheless approached Richie and crouched down beside him. The invisible barrier between them disappeared, and they melted into each other’s touch. Eddie felt tears form in his eyes again, tears of joy, stress, worry, and fright. The water slid down his cheeks and dropped onto Richie’s shoulder. Onto an alive Richie’s shoulder.

“Are you okay Eds?” Richie asked.

“What? Of course, I’m okay! It’s you that is not! You’re not okay Rich, I thought I was going to lose you.”

Richie took Eddie’s hand in response and opened his fingers. He quickly reached in his pocket and slid something onto the smaller boy’s palm. Eddie looked down, confused. It was an almost ruined ten-dollar bill, all crinkled and soaked in water.

“What’s that?”

“I wanted to buy you popcorn. It seemed like the most important thing in the world, because I… huh, I…” Richie blushed, looking shy for the first time in his life. “I care about you!” He blurted out and took a deep breath(which in reality was kind of shallow, but nonetheless deeper than the superficial breaths he was taking since he had come back to consciousness). “I’m sorry I scared you.”

Eddie stared at him for a couple of seconds, shocked. “Don’t apology, it wasn’t your fault... I care about you too, y’know.”

The two boys stayed huddled together for a long time, not wanting to let go as if they would break if they separated. Richie’s embrace grounded Eddie, keeping his mind from sending him images of Richie’s motionless beaten up body or… yes, it allowed him to think about Richie’s hand on his lower back, or about the fingers of his other hand carding through his hair in gentle motions, or the feeling of his face buried in the crook of his neck instead. Eddie reveled in the touch of their bodies, and they were pressed close enough so that he could feel Richie’s heart beating wildly and if that wasn’t the best feeling ever, he didn’t know what was. He still felt the need to assure himself that Richie wasn’t dead every now and then, but each time he checked he finished by just letting out a sigh of pure relief.

After what seemed like an eternity, Eddie pulled apart, ignoring Richie’s protests. The taller teen really needed to get checked in the hospital, and it was urgent.

“Can you walk? I’m sorry to ask you this, but you need to go to the hospital right now,” Eddie got up, extending his hand to help Richie. The other took it, pushed himself up and made a step, then stumbled as his vision darkened. Eddie caught him, keeping him from face-planting, and wrapped his arm around his waist. Eddie guided Richie all the way to the hospital, supporting him every time he tripped from exhaustion. From really, really far away, they could look like a happy couple that just got a new that was so good that they weren’t able to get off of each other. In a certain way, it was true; Richie was alive, and that was the best new Eddie could think of.

🎈🎈🎈

“What the fuck Richie?! Why didn’t you tell me? The doctor said it must have hurt like hell and you didn’t say anything the whole time! Fuck, I made you walk all the way here!” Eddie exclaimed. They had passed most of the night in the hospital, and Richie had more than enough of getting prodded, touched and bandaged. They kept trying to bring him away from Eddie and that was a no-no thing to do.

Finally, the doctor’s final verdict was that Richie had a dislocated shoulder, a sprained ankle, a broken nose, a concussion, two fractured ribs, and four cracked ones, tons and tons of bruises all over his chest, throat, face, legs, arms, basically everywhere. Ah, and the doctor made him stitches for the laceration beneath his collarbone. He also got bandages almost everywhere for his cuts that were still bleeding.

Richie looked at Eddie sheepishly. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad.” Well, in reality, it had been that bad, and Richie had wished a good hundred of times to just pass out to avoid the unbearable pain that had kept growing. It would’ve been easier, but he couldn’t do that to Eddie, so he just pushed everything away and continued walking. If at one moment Eddie had been supporting more of his weight than he did, well, nobody needed to know.

“Stop lying to me. I know you were in pain. You just hid it with shitty jokes like you always do!” Ah, yeah, Richie also tried to annoy Eddie with stupid jokes to distract them from the horrible thing that had happened. It was easier to be brave when you pretended to be fearless. At one moment, you can even start to believe you are.

“You know, that’s really an unhealthy coping mechanism. You can’t just lock your feelings away and hope they disappear, or mask them with a smile and a dumb one-liner. Hiding your pain behind humor is not a good thing to do, because one day you’re going to have no more place to stash it and it’s all going to explode in your face and that’s going to be a thousand times worse than it was at the beginning and then you’re going to feel so overwhelmed that--” Eddie said, talking faster and faster as the words poured out of his mouth.

“Alright, alright, Dr. Kaspbrak. Just relax, how about that?” Richie interrupted with a smirk.

“See? That’s what I’m talking about,” Eddie sighed and the taller teen pulled him in, making him fall on his hospital bed.

“Stop! I’m going to hurt you,” Eddie protested but didn’t resist and collapsed on the bed. Richie pushed himself aside, making room for the smaller boy, and he wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. He rested his head against the top of Eddie’s one, feeling the exhaustion catch up on him. It was around two in the morning, and he knew that if he closed his eyes he wouldn’t open them again for a long time so he did what he always did.

“I’m fine Eds. You’re way too small to hurt me anyway and--” Richie began to talk.

“Don’t call me Eds!” Eddie said, trying his best to put on a mad face, but Richie saw right through it.”

“Cute, cute, cute! You’re so mmngm!” Richie was interrupted when Eddie smashed their lips together kind of awkwardly. He didn’t react for a second, his eyes wide with surprise. Eddie jerked back, looking scared out of his mind and embarrassed to the roots of his hair to the tip of his toes.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry! Let’s just forget that okay?” Eddie said, flushed, as he got out of the bed, and Richie could tell that at this moment, if Eddie could bury himself five feet deep underneath the ground, he would do it. Richie stared at Eddie another second, taking the time to process, and then he gathered his courage and braced himself. _‘C’mon Tozier, pull yourself together’_ he thought, and then he dragged the smaller teen back on the bed, and he pressed his mouth on Eddie’s, kissing him softly. Eddie answered immediately, and after a moment the awkwardness flew away and they found their pace.

“Let’s never forget that okay?” Richie said as he kissed Eddie along his jaw, and down his neck. He had dreamt about this moment almost since the first day he had met Eddie, and it was better than everything he had ever imagined. There was something warm bubbling in his chest, something that asked to get out of him under the form of affection. He pressed himself closer to Eddie and caught his lips again. They went faster this time, deeper, asking more of the other as the seconds went by. Richie felt whole. He felt like himself for the first time in forever. Even more important, he felt like he could be himself, despite the fear that lingered inside of him.

A nurse stepped in the room, reading on her clipboard, and absentmindedly cleared her throat. “Mr. Tozier?”

Richie mumbled something, and she looked up as Eddie jumped out of the bed, panic-stricken. Richie felt his heart skip a beat and then pound madly in his chest upon being discovered, but he forced himself to calm down as he saw that the nurse was gazing at them with a fond smile. He stifled a laugh at Eddie’s reaction but he nonetheless felt his face go red, his cheeks burning with heat.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the nurse said, her eyes shining with amusement. “But your parents finally answered the phone, and they said it wasn’t necessary that you speak to them, but I can bring you a phone if you wish to. I told them the extent of your injuries and they won’t come here, so you’ll be able to see them when you get released from here tomorrow. We’ll keep you under observation tonight, but you will be free in the morning.” She continued before exiting the room with a polite nod.

Richie sobered up instantly, all his happiness erased in the twinkling of an eye. He hated the effect his parents had on him, but couldn’t they just care a little bit for their son? Like he almost died and they didn’t even want to talk to him, even less to see him. His chest hurt suddenly.

Eddie saw Richie’s grin fade and saw his eyes fill with sadness. He climbed back into the bed and placed the taller boy’s head in his lap, stroking his wild curls.

“It probably would’ve been better for them if I just had died. At least I would have stopped to be such a burden to them. Or maybe they wouldn’t have remarked at all,” Richie said bitterly, feeling deeply harmed, like someone had just put salt in all of his wounds.

“Rich… Don’t say that. I’m here,” Eddie assured, bowing over to kiss Richie’s nose.

“You’ll get tired of me. Or you’ll just get too annoyed,” Richie propped himself on his elbows and then sat up, leaning against the wall. Eddie sensed the insecurity behind Richie’s words and pressed their foreheads together.

“I could never. I... “ Eddie took a moment to think. Maybe it was too soon to say this. But he knew Richie needed to hear it. _‘Too bad, why not?’_ he thought, and then he dived headfirst into admitting something he had hidden for all those years. “I love you.”

Richie stared, mouth agape. For a second, it was like the whole universe shattered in front of his eyes. He knew he should react. But he was speechless. Deep down, he was completely panicked, he didn’t know what to do. He imagined this a lot of times, but he never thought it would actually really happen. He never ever pictured that Eddie could really say that. Yeah, they were supposed to go on a date, but he thought it wasn’t serious, at least not for Eddie.

“Say something please,” Eddie said after what seemed like hours. Richie still didn’t know what to say and he felt bad for doing this to Eddie. He felt a turmoil of emotions stirring in his stomach, and it was going up his throat, and he was lost about what to do with it, and he was so confused because there were so many things happening in him. He wanted so bad to answer because he was sure that in all of this there was love, but they lived in Derry. They already kissed, and somebody saw them. Fortunately, the nurse hadn’t seemed to mind, but it wouldn’t be the case for everybody. Just needed to take a look at what had happened to him today. But again, this was Derry. He felt some kind of interdiction to say the three words to another boy. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt like if he said it everyone in town would just burst into his room to shame him and then to kill him. He knew what kind of things happened to people like him and Eddie. He was so fucking scared to say it. But he wanted to. The consequences were going to be terrible(at least that’s what he thought). But it wasn’t important if Eddie loved him right?

_ Don’t touch the other boys Richie, or they’ll know your secret. _

That voice. That damn voice. That’s what decided him. It would be his ultimate _‘fuck you’_ to whoever had said this.

“I love you too,” Richie finally admitted. Nobody broke into his room. The world didn’t eat him alive to make him pay. The voice shut up. The storm inside of him doubled in intensity, but it transformed into only one emotion. A good one. An emotion that reflected his words.

Richie observed as Eddie relaxed, his whole body transforming from a tight line of tension to a normal position. They kissed again. They kissed like they could transfer their love for each other by the connection of their lips.

🎈🎈🎈

Eddie woke up tangled with Richie. They had fallen asleep not long after 3 am, both of them tired to the core from the previous incidents. He checked the clock on the wall on the opposite side of the room and it indicated that it was 9 am. He let his head flop back on the pillow and just enjoyed his proximity with Richie.

It was a sunny day, and Eddie could feel the warm caress of the sun rays that illuminated the room in a soft glow. He felt good. He was happy. Richie loved him. He had kind of a hard time to believe that Richie had really said that. The night before, Eddie had seen a thousand of feelings painted over Richie’s face as he waited for the taller boy to answer, and then just as he had been sure that he was going to explode from stress and pressure, Richie had looked at him, and his eyes had held so much love, so much care, that Eddie had felt completely blown away. And after, Richie had said these damn four words, these words that sounded like the most powerful promise somebody could make.

_ “I love you too”_

Eddie closed his eyes as he played yesterday’s night events in his mind, over and over again. All of his life, he had wished to be loved, to have these words said to him. _‘What about your mother?’_ somebody that didn’t know him would ask. The thing is, he didn’t want that kind of love anymore. His mother suffocated him, trapped him in layers and layers of overprotectiveness and oppressive love. She lied to him, manipulated him, and masked all of it by saying it was only a mother’s affection for her child.

_‘My sickness? What sickness Ma?... You know what these are? They’re gazebos! They’re bullshit!’_

What Eddie really had wanted was Richie’s love. Not as a member of the Losers Club. Not as a best friend. Not twisted, or manipulative, or obsessive devotion. Just real love. And it looked like he finally had what he wished for.

He opened his eyes again and looked at Richie. His face was worse than yesterday, incredibly swollen and black and blue, but he was still so beautiful. One’s beauty resides in how much that person cares for other people, and in how much love they have to give. And Richie had more of that in him than Eddie could possibly hope to receive.

Eddie felt Richie shift beside him, and he decided to wake him up with a kiss. The taller boy blinked his eyes open and gazed at him, his hair a wild mess of dark curls. He answered to the kiss after a couple of seconds, still dazed from sleep.

“What a nice way to start the day,” Richie said as his lips curled into a wide beam against Eddie’s mouth.

“How do you feel, Rich?” Eddie asked, smiling too.

“As good as new! Your mother didn’t go easy on me last night though,” The other teen exclaimed as he grabbed the back of Eddie’s head and pulled him closer, intertwining their legs underneath the blanket.

“Beep beep Richie! You’re so fucking stupid sometimes! Seriously, how do you feel?” Eddie insisted, ghosting his fingers over Richie’s lower back.

“Like a train just rolled over me,” Richie sighed, letting go of his hold on Eddie to card a hand through his hair. He absentmindedly reached to adjust his glasses, but his fingers just hovered over his face as he realized they weren’t there. For his part, Eddie found Richie’s answer kind of funny, because he had thought the exact same thing when he had seen him beaten up in the first place.

“Yeah, sorry for your glasses, they kind of didn’t make it,” Eddie shrugged sheepishly, kissing Richie’s temple.

“Stop saying sorry Eds. It wasn’t your fault in any way.”

“You’re beautiful,” Eddie blurted out, voicing the thought that kept crawling at the back of his mind ever since he had woken up. He looked into Richie’s eyes, letting himself get lost in their depth.

“I’d say the same thing but I can’t see shit,” Richie said as a devilish grin appeared over his face. He suddenly giggled, and then burst into genuine laughter, his eyes shining with amusement. “I’m sorry, seriously I can’t see! But I can imagine the face you’re making right now.”

Eddie good-naturedly let go of his scowl and chuckled, burying his face into Richie’s good shoulder.

Somewhere around 10, a nurse came in, made Richie sign some papers and then discharged him. The taller teen passed past the nurse and ignored the prescription she was offering, and Eddie grasped it with an apologetic smile. He ran after Richie, who was striding down the hallway in steps as big as his legs allowed(and that meant very, very big steps).

“Why are you so in a hurry?” Eddie asked as he caught up with the other.

“Because I have other things to do,” Richie answered as he continued walking.

“Yeah, like what? I hope it includes going to the pharmacy to get your prescription,” Eddie said while agitating the prescription paper in front of Richie’s eyes, purposely being annoying and flapping it in the other’s face from time to time.

“Well not really, but I guess I can include it to the plan,” Richie looked down at Eddie with an accomplice smile.

“Stop that,” Eddie deadpanned.

“What?” Richie asked with wide innocent eyes. Eddie sighed and rolled his own eyes.

“Stop being all mysterious like this! And stop acting like I know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m sure you can guess.”

“Richard.” Eddie said in a warning tone.

“Fine, fine,” Richie sighed dramatically. “Eddie my love, we still didn’t get our date.”

“What? You can’t be serious, Rich. Did you see yourself since yesterday? You look like a fucking mess.”

“What, are you ashamed of me?” Richie said as he placed a hand over his heart with a theatrical wounded expression painted on his face.

“No! That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Eddie promptly answered, consternated.

“Just relax, Eds. I was joking,” Richie grinned. “I say we go to the pharmacy to make you happy and then we go watch that movie we were supposed to see and then…” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, his face split by his bright smile. “How about that?”

“Yeah okay,” Eddie said, fighting back his own smile that threatened to appear and light up his whole face with happiness. How could he refuse that anyway?

They indeed went to get Richie’s painkillers at the pharmacy, relieving a little of Eddie’s worry that kind of never really went away, and they passed at Richie’s house to get spare glasses and then they went to the cinema. They sat at the very last row of seats of the room and they held their hands the whole time. If asked about the movie, neither Richie or Eddie would be able to answer since they passed the two hours long film kissing each other, both of them blissful and sure that they knew the real meaning of love and happiness now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! I really hope you enjoyed this fanfic!! Feel free to leave a comment, it always makes me smile to read them! Ah, and sorry for the mistakes and i'm not an expert in the medical field so I apologize for the inaccuracies. 
> 
> Here are some infos:
> 
> -Richie's heart never stopped beating, but the heartbeat was so weak that Eddie couldn't hear.  
-According to me, Richie's biggest fears are being himself and being forgotten.  
-Eddie can be a real little ball of fire sometimes, never underestimate him.  
-I think Richie is the kind of person to hide his feelings behind humour.  
-Richie and Eddie would do anything to protect the other.


End file.
